


What are you doing here?

by Polyhexian



Series: Humanformers: The Music AU [12]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Humanformers, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, POV Third Person, Pre-Relationship, Suicidal Ideation, drug mention, homophobia mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:47:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25646047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polyhexian/pseuds/Polyhexian
Summary: Chromedome blew his hair out of his face again, chin set in his arms crossed over his knees, drawn up to his chest. It was starting to get cold out as it got later in the day, and even though it was already a gloomy day, the sun blocked out by miserable grey clouds that didn't even have the good sense to rain and make it a proper gloomy day, he could tell the sky was getting darker. The sun would set soon.
Relationships: Chromedome/Rewind (Transformers), Dominus Ambus/Rewind
Series: Humanformers: The Music AU [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859230
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	What are you doing here?

Chromedome blew his hair out of his face again, chin set in his arms crossed over his knees, drawn up to his chest. It was starting to get cold out as it got later in the day, and even though it was already a gloomy day, the sun blocked out by miserable grey clouds that didn't even have the good sense to rain and make it a proper gloomy day, he could tell the sky was getting darker. The sun would set soon.

He should probably make up his mind before then. If he didn't actually end up jumping, and he stayed out here past nightfall he might get sick, and being alive _and_ sick was like, the worst case scenario, the zero sum outcome to this whole thing. He just needed to make up his mind. 

He'd climbed over the railing of the bridge a few hours ago and plopped himself down on one of the support railings. It wasn't particularly wide, as bridges went, but it cut over a deep canyon into an icy river, making it a popular suicide spot. He'd found it on a google search for exactly that, and the clickbait site that has hyped it up hadn't been lying. He'd been here hours and nobody had even driven by. Remote, deadly, private, dramatic, a little bridge in a mountain forest. It was basically perfect. He just needed to _make up his mind._

The problem was every time he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and started to shift his weight, tip backwards as if he might finally give up and let himself go, some awful, wretched drive in him flared up and he jerked forward again, grabbing at the rafter and trembling. But, then, also, every time he thought about getting up, climbing back over the railing, dragging his bike out of the woods and leaving… all the reasons he was here in the first place stopped him.

The day was fading and he still couldn't quite make up his mind. All he could think was how much he _wanted_ to jump, how much he _wanted_ to stop waffling and just let go.

Overhead, he heard the rumble of a car approach, too slow to be crossing, and he looked up, even though he couldn't see it, as the car rolled to a stop beside the road and parked. The door opened and someone got out, alone, and then walked onto the bridge. 

Chromedome looked up, squinting in the yellow-grey near twilight sun at the figure above on the bridge as they leaned forward on the railing with a sigh. A long, hard, miserable sigh.

Oh, shit. 

"I miss you," the stranger said, and the pain was apparent in his voice, "Every day. Everyone says that it gets easier, eventually, time heals all wounds and all that, but. It's not getting any easier." 

Oh, _shit._

"Hey!" Chromedome yelled, scrambling to stand up and put his hands back on the bottom of the bridge, "Don't do it!"

"Wh-" the stranger exclaimed, startled, "Excuse me?"

Chromedome pulled himself back up and rolled back over the railing, before he landed on his feet, panting, "I said, _don't do it._ Like, as in, don't jump. I know whoever you're talking about wouldn't want you to jump."

The stranger stared at him for a long moment, leaned back away from the railing as if he was considering bolting. He was short, dark skinned, probably around the same age as him, maybe a bit older, wearing blue-tinted glasses and a puffy black vest over white long sleeves. He was also very, very pretty.

"How do you know he wouldn't want that?" the stranger huffed, shifting from startled to indignant, "You don't know the first thing about me."

"Uh," said Chromedome, thinking quickly, "I mean. Nobody wants anyone to kill themselves. Not even their enemies. So I'm sure he doesn't want that. Why don't you tell me about him, and then I can tell you again he probably doesn't want you to jump?"

The stranger squinted at him, and then tittered with confused laughter, "I wasn't going to jump."

"You weren't?"

"No," said the shorter man, shaking his head, "My boyfriend jumped, here, two years ago. It's the anniversary of his death. I'm here to mourn." 

"Oh," said Chromedome, feeling stupid, suddenly, "I'm so sorry." 

"It's fine," said the other man, turning back to lean on the railing again, his mouth smiling but his eyes somewhere else, "He's got a headstone, but no one ever found his body, so… it just feels… like right here is the closest I can get to him, wherever he is now." 

Chromedome hesitated, and then stood next to the stranger, leaning on the railing himself. "That must be hard for you." 

"It is," the stranger murmured, "I wish I had something to bury. I know he's gone, but, without… something, without proof, it doesn't feel real. It never sinks in right." He paused. "His name was Dominus, by the way."

"A nice name," Chromedome nodded, "What about you? Have you got a name?" 

The stranger burst with startled laughter and shook his head, "My name is Rewind."

"I'm Chromedome," said Chromedome, "It's nice to meet you, Rewind."

"Its nice to meet you, too, Chromedome," Rewind smiled, and then stopped, gears turning in his head, before he looked down under the railing, and then back up at his would-be saviour. "Hang on, what are _you_ doing here?"

Chromedome tensed, and immediately wished he'd jumped earlier before he had to confront _this_ new mortifying ordeal of being known. "Uh," he said, "Nothing."

Rewind's expression grew concerned and he reached up to put a hand on Chromedome's arm, "No, seriously. I don't see any other cars here. You're not a hiker. What are you doing here, Chromedome?"

Chromedome's eyes flickered hesitantly between Rewind and booking it to the other side of the bridge and straight into the woods, out of this conversation, before he finally relented.

"I, uh," he said, turning away to stare pointedly downward, where he couldn't see Rewind's eyes on him, "I don't want to say, considering what you're here for. You've clearly already got enough on your plate." 

"Hey, no," Rewind's voice was soft, oozing worry, "Now that you've said that I _really_ want you to talk to me. Don't worry about me. I'm alright. What's going on with you?"

"I'm…" Chromedome pulled his shoulders tighter together, "Yeah, I was here to jump. Maybe. I hadn't decided yet."

"Why?"

"I just got kicked out of medical school," Chromedome admitted, "Well. Not just that. I got busted for doing coke, I got thrown out of college for getting arrested, and my parents found out I was gay and told me not to come home, so." He took a deep, shuddering intake, trying to ignore the way his hands were starting to shake, "So I'm running out of options."

"Jesus," said Rewind, "All that in one fell swoop?"

"Yeah," Chromedome mumbled, "All that in one fell swoop."

"That sucks," Rewind said, moving his hand from Chromedome's arm to his shoulder, "No wonder you feel so awful. The, uh- any withdrawals?"

"Not yet," Chromedome admitted, "But I'm done with the shit. I'm done with all of it. So I know it's going to suck. I was really hoping I would jump before I really started feeling it." 

"Don't jump," Rewind said, leaning closer, "Nobody wants anybody to kill themselves, you know."

"I think my parents might disagree with you," he whispered.

"Well," said Rewind, pausing to think, before he slapped Chromedome firmly on the back and put his arm all the way around his admittedly broad shoulders, "Fuck what they think, then. If they think like that then nothing they think matters. So you still shouldn't."

Chromedome huffed a laugh, "You're actually not very good at this, you know. But… I am feeling better." He sighed. "Or, not better. I don't want to jump anymore, at least." 

"That's one point for Rewind, then," Rewind said, gently, "I'm glad I came today, then." 

"I'm glad you came, too," Chromedome said, "I think. I don't know how I'll feel later, honestly. And I don't… I don't know where to go. I don't have any friends, not anymore. I don't know where you go when you're just… alone. A homeless shelter? I don't even know where a homeless shelter is," he said, pathetically, sinking his face into his arms. 

"You're going to come stay with me," Rewind said, firmly, and Chromedome snapped his head up.

"What?"

"Meeting you here, today, like this? It's a sign, Chromedome. It's fate, or something. Or maybe I'm just projecting, I dunno. I have a two bedroom with a loft and plenty of space. You can come stay with me until you figure something out. And then I'll know you didn't come back here later."

"That's… I don't want to ask that much of you, I don't even know you."

"You do know me," said Rewind, smiling, "I'm Rewind. And you're Chromedome. See? We know each other."

Chromedome blinked at him, and then smiled back, sniffling as suddenly, _now_ he was starting to tear up. "Okay. _Thank you_ , Rewind."


End file.
